When I was a child, I was always asked by my teacher in class: ” What is your ideal when you grow up?”? In fact, in those days when the spirit and material are very scarce, the ideal I can think of to break my head is to have a job that can get wages on time every month without farming, just like the second uncle who took my grandfather’s class.. However, the teacher gave us pictures of communism by fully imagining the ” four modernizations” and filled our small heads with fantasies and visions of the future.. So I decided that my first ideal is to be a teacher, and I must also be a private teacher who holds a formal salary and can take the best food in the family to the table after class every day, instead of farming like my aunt, who should go home and eat cake and dried melons.. So in the first essay in the third grade called ” participating in my ideal regulations”, I put the teacher’s teaching and educating, singing a lot of beautiful songs, eating the best food, and punishing disobedient students with a chalk – headed blackboard eraser as my highest ideal into the essay, and the teacher tore the essay book and the teacher’s dream was shattered.. I vaguely remember how sick my young mother was when she was young. It is not the smell of food that often floats out of the dark and damp old house, but the bitterness and inferiority of thick Chinese herbal medicines.. Looking at barefoot doctors often carrying large cross-shaped medicine boxes to give injections to their mothers, they thought that if I could also give injections to their mothers, their father would not have to send my favorite chickens to the barefoot doctors’ chicken cages from time to time.. Therefore, barefoot doctors became my second ideal after teachers. However, the scene that the doctor who has been holding his head high missed a diagnosis, shot the wrong needle and killed his life and was wildly flattened by the family members of the patient destroyed my second ideal.. Since then, many ideals have sprouted and died in the middle of the road.. Until I got the thin sheet of paper that filled in the volunteer, I suddenly realized that the ideal was in my own hands.. At that time, the infatuation with San Mao and Qiong Yao came to the point of being possessed by a computer virus.. Vagrancy is the most recent means to realize their life. Therefore, he did not hesitate to put pen to paper and fill in ” XXX Geological Institute” in the first volunteer.. As a result, the principal responsible for checking our voluntary reporting stared his already big eyes like a bronze bell, panting like an old cow and pointing to my nose without saying a word.. In the end, my father was called in, and in the tone of their heavy and deep language and the expression of hatred for iron and steel, my first wish was changed to the accounting profession that they thought was really popular at the time.. In this regard, my ideal has become an eternal ideal. With a bronzing diploma, I report to the unit. I finally made a compromise for the simple and complicated work.. Also understand the’ reality is very bone feeling, ideal is very plump” this is the most true portrayal of people like me. No longer expect from ideal. Just like a person who has been deeply in love for a long time but can never be together, letting go and forgetting is the best choice. In the middle of life, the mediocre ones were staggering.. Years have smoothed away all my edges and corners, pulled out all my thorns, and blessed me with silver threads. In the repetition day after day, it’s time for me to keep talking about my ideal with my son.. Children’s ideals as children were strange and strange. After all, their insights were different from those of my childhood.. I remember that one of the ideals he touched me most was to use his magic wand ( a TV antenna ) to turn me into a princess on a winding planet, so that he was the prince of Qiqi planet and wanted to propose to the princess.. There is no concept of engagement in the young heart of his son. Before he met Ma Yue, the first girl he liked in kindergarten, he always made it his highest ideal to marry his mother when he grew up.. Now, my son is much higher than me, and he is more cautious about his ideal. His ideal now is to take an examination of the right Dalian Maritime University and become a captain of an aircraft carrier in the future.. Zhao Zheng, China’s first aircraft carrier captain, became his idol. Many modern people are ashamed or ashamed to talk about ideals, which have evolved into’ desires’. I can’t avoid customs either. In the face of oneself, those things that are stirring and called ideals will always creep out in the dead of night. Like an insect. Yes, my ideal, the deep-buried one that cannot show people’s ideal, is to be a worm. Parasite. The kind that can eat well, dress beautifully and play smartly, like San Mao and Zhao Mei, after being stung, they carry their bags on their backs, walk all over the sky, watch all the way and sing all the way and write all the way. When it’s cold, butterflies turn into pupa, shrink into a warm embrace, eat and sleep every day, laugh and dream every day, looking forward to the coming of the next spring and taking off again. If one day, you see a colorful woman on the snowy plains in the western regions, riding and whistling. If one day, you see an unruly woman on the beach under coconut trees, with all kinds of amorous feelings. If one day, you see a woman of intellectual elegance in the holy university hall, Kan Kan, talking about it. If one day, you see a woman with a frown in the elegant and unsophisticated cafe, looking lonely. If one day you see a woman holding a cup of tea in a rocking chair on the balcony looking up at the sky in an ordinary house like this. Please remember, she is that, parasite.